Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
