So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
