Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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