Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
