i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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