You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
