NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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