He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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