just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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