Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My life is pants optional.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
