The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
