i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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