You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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