if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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