i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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