I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
