he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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