watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
