That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
