ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Randomize
