Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
