in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
