yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
