You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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