If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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