I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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