i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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