I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
