So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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