when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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