That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
