dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
