And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
