You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
3 2 1 whiskey
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
