we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
