Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
