do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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