Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
