dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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