I'm lost and stupid without you.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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