I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
