So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The uberlube is also flammable
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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