Cold hands, warm shart.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
