She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
