He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
