You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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