epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
