Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
