when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
