you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The air was thick with penises
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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